In my job, I’ve helped a lot of people quit smoking. And I’ve heard a lot of reasons why smoking is a good thing.
I’ve been told smoking sharpens your mind, relaxes you, calms you, keeps you from yelling at the kids (or spouse), tastes good with coffee, tastes better after a meal. In short, makes you feel “better”. (I always ask “better than what”?)
You don’t believe these reasons. Not really. If you did, you wouldn’t also want to quit smoking. Right? Actually you CAN have it both ways. You can believe your reasons to smoke at the same time you don’t believe them. It is the difference between ‘knowing’ something and ‘feeling’ something.
A part of you MUST believe your reasons or you would have quit smoking by now. Now may be a good time to know there are no laws that say your reason to keep smoking has to make sense. They rarely do.
Almost all of the reasons you continue smoking can easily be proven wrong. Example: Maybe smoking helps you relax during work breaks because you get away and go outside to do it.
Even when you know the reason doesn’t make sense, that knowledge doesn’t always help you stop. It might just add to your frustration in the struggle to stop. Just one more reason to stop that doesn’t out-weigh the craving to continue.
It’s basically about two things. The motivation that smoking will make you feel better and the feeling that you’re trying to feel better than. That is all.
If you’re too hot, you look for ways to cool off. If you’re leg hurts you look for pain relief. If you feel bad (tired, stressed, overwhelmed, angry, lonely, whatever…) you look to feel good. If you have held the belief that smoking makes you feel good, that’s where your mind takes you.
This feeling to do something is what you probably call a craving. Many smokers have more than one type of craving going on. The ‘after you wake up’ craving might feel different than the ‘after a meal’ craving. The same principles apply.
So, what are you supposed to do? I can write several pages talking about this (and I have, look for them) But, it all comes down to modifying the feeling, motivation and belief involved.
First, the ‘bad feeling’ side of things needs to be addressed. If it’s too much stress, get it managed, if it’s a situation that makes you lonely, do what you can to fix it, or look for help.
Second, the belief that smoking makes you feel good (it is often the mistaken, and understandable, belief that smoking equals being an adult, in control, strong, capable, etc…) The fact is, smoking is some plant leaf and chemicals wrapped in paper. The good feeling you’re looking for, and sometimes experience, is created by YOU. YOU make yourself feel better when you smoke. You can make yourself feel just as good when drinking a glass of water. If, your mind believes it.
And there’s the trick for most people. Successfully quitting smoking is much easier after changing these emotional connections. People don’t often think of this. That is why the success rate of medication and nicotine replacement alone is so poor. The only current exception is Chantix and even Pfizer, the makers of Chantix, recommend behavior modification along with their medication.
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